Beatrice at 23 Months

Dear Beatrice,

Today you are 23 months old. In the last month, you have made my heart melt but you have also made it break, which is not meant to be a bad thing, but it's really only you challenging me - which you have every right to do as I learn how to handle it all.

You've begun a new journey on your closeness to hitting the two-year mark. Some things are hard for me...and keeping my patience with you has definitely not been easy. The tantrums have started - over nothing really. The hitting has started. "No" has become a prominent part of your vocabulary.


These days you are into everything, wanting everything, and expressing yourself in so many ways. Some of the new phrases that continue to blow my mind are you saying: What happened?, Love You, Balloon Fly Away - Oh No!, See Ya. You are saying sentences now, but some of the words I still can't make out, and it doesn't matter because I know we will understand you soon. Sometimes you are such a chatterbox that I look at your father and start laughing. You've also become fascinated with the holidays, and know the prominent figures of Santa, reindeer, snowman, and Christmas tree.


This month we were asked to watch one of your friends from daycare for the evening. So, your BFF, Catie, came over one night and you were so excited and happy to see her in our home. We gave her one of your sippy cups and you had one as well, and you went up to her and started screaming "Catie! Agua! Catie!" Then you appeared to clink your cup with hers as if you were doing a "cheers". Then you took her to your room, showed her all your toys, and watched cartoons. The two of you took apart my holiday countdown ornament chest and there were figurines everywhere (some of which I still haven't found). Your father blew bubbles and the two of you were catching them and laughing constantly. You were so happy, but when she left, you said bye to her and then you started crying. We told you that you would see her the next day, and that cheered you up somewhat. It's so exciting to see you with others your own age and to know you already have friends.


You've always been a daddy's girl, and there's been absolutely no question about that this last month. You've not wanted much to do with me, and in all honesty, it has really hurt, but I know that you don't know or realize this, so there is no way I can blame you or ever would blame you. However, when I headed for the hospital twice over the last month for a kidney stone, the second time you told me you loved me and then cried for 15 minutes after I left, all the while I was gone you kept asking your father when I would be home or if I was home. I know I mean a lot to you, but sometimes it's hard for me to constantly hear you asking for your father when I want to feel equally as important. Your father is a very important part of your life, and it makes me so happy that he is so involved with making you happy and being there for you. He's a good father to you, and I couldn't ask for anything more...but I do try hard to be a good mother to you as well.


I know my letter to you this month is not as long as usual, but it has flown by so fast and you've still grown so much before my eyes. I've been working a lot, and haven't been at my best healthwise, and therefore have not spent as much time with you as I have wanted. Being with you and watching you in action is entertaining, because I'm watching something that is a part of me learn things (count to ten in English and Spanish) and do things (dancing in circles and singing) that I have once done myself, but at a much older age. Your father claims you are starting to look more like me, but you still have his personality and no fear attitude. I have to agree most of the time, but no matter what you look like or how you act, I will always love you unconditionally.

I love you,

Mama