Beatrice at 20 Months

Dear Beatrice,

Today you are 20 months old. Why does that number sound so incredibly big?

This month has been a crazy ride for you...really, is it ever any different? Your personality is coming out more than ever, and your vocabulary is vastly expanding. Some of your new words for the month are: tree, Francie, Da Da (YEAH!), cup, Swiper. I cannot even touch the surface on this front because you seem to say something new every day now, and everytime you do, I always ask you to repeat it because I'm very much in shock at how fast you are picking things up. The ones I have mentioned are my true favorites, but the one that tops the cake is "tree". It seems that everytime we walk by one or are driving in the car, you are quick to point it out to us. One day we were driving on a street not far from our home and the street was filled with them. The word "tree" must have come out of your mouth about twenty times in row. I loved it.


Aside from new words, you've picked up something from both your father and I, and that is when we call your name, your reply is "Yeah?" My dear, this is something a teenager would do if a parent called to them from another room. Not come, but just reply with a "Yeah", as in "Whatcha want?" I don't at all find it irritating, but mostly funny, because it is something your father and I do to each other. Sometimes it's almost like you can't be bothered because you are so happy playing in your room. Half the time I do it as a check up on you if I am tending to your sister. And, another thing that is important for me to note is that when I yell for you using "Bea" or "Beatrice", it will often take two or three times before you reply. However, when I call "Beatrice Samantha", the "Yeah" is quick to follow.


There was one night this last month when you were a complete live wire. You were still awake at 10:30 PM. You were running all over the house, dancing, jumping, talking. We had the house completely dark since about 9 in order to get you settled down for bed. You weren't having it at all. We don't know what was actually going on with you, but we think it might have been that you woke up from your nap at daycare at 5. I can tell you one thing - I hope that never happens again. However, you were pure entertainment to your father and I, and we were laughing at the energy coming out of you. At one point, you were looking out the window and you screamed "PLANE!" I didn't hear one, so I whispered, "Where? Show me!" You were pointing with all kinds of force in that arm and finger. I looked out the window, and yes, even though there were no sounds of a plane, there was one high up in the sky and appeared as a moving light. You continue to amaze me with instances just like this one.

You had just one sickness this last month, but it couldn't have been more scary than it was. You had croup. Your father and I thought there was something terribly wrong with you when you woke up sounding like a barking seal in the middle of the night. The sound of it frightened you as well, and it was hard for you to catch your breath. Your father took you to the emergency room while I layed awake worrying about you and fearing something terrible. It wasn't too bad, and I guess it can be pretty common. Fortunately, you snapped out of it pretty quickly and you are back to being your punk-like self. We've been more than concerned about you being sick so much, so your doctor - Dr. M - said that if you get sick again in the very near future, we might have to do some tests. I honestly believe that you just play hard so you just pick up everything by being around it. That's what I believe...


I've had a closeness with you this past month that I haven't felt in a while. You know that you are more than important to me and that I love you so very much, but this month was a little different. I feel that I have spent more time with you, and in a way, I feel as if there are things you have done to show me that I mean something to you. Specifically, when you say "Ma Ma" and kiss me. It's happened a number of times. Sometimes it's in the middle of the night or when I drop you off at daycare or just whenever you feel like it. Sometimes you hold your arms up and say "Ma Ma" when your father is already holding you, letting me know that you want me for that particular moment. Of course, the tide always does turn but for some of those moments you have made me feel so much like a mom, so needed, so wanted.


This last week you awoke early one morning at 5 am. It was the weekend. You came to the side of the bed and said "Ma Ma", holding your arms up. For the second time ever, I pulled you into our bed. Generally, you go back to your bed or the couch, but for some reason I couldn't resist you. You quickly snuggled up to me and fell soundly asleep, not your usual restless self. The only other time I ever did this was when you were four months old, and I was to return back to work from my maternity leave. I snuggled you for as long as I possibly could that morning. And I did the same thing this last month. You slept, and I did too for a little bit, but I was up just holding you, smelling your hair, and kissing your head. I will never let go of that moment. Ever.

I love you,
Mama