Pretty Much About Nothing

I've been slacking, I know. Life has gotten busy, work has gotten busy and between everything else, I haven't had a thought to myself really in the last week or so. Please forgive me. Because I love to write and I love telling stories about my family, but I just haven't had the time.

I remember writing about how busy I was a couple of months ago, but that is nothing compared to life right now. September was supposed to be a slow month, one where I play catch up, but every weekend there has been something going on. And remember that friend that I mentioned that I felt was too busy for me, well all has been worked out. Every weekend I have been invited for a visit, and every weekend I have to turn her down because of something and now I feel so much guilt that it almost makes me sick. I want to see her and her new baby girl. I know it will work out sometime soon.

So...I'm full of rants and raves today, but I don't have too much more in me this evening.

Josh is going away this weekend. I'll actually only see him tomorrow morning before he leaves for work, because he is headed out wheeling, a trip that will probably be the last for a while now that it is turning into fall. He'll be back Sunday. So, I'm on my own with the girls, which I am looking forward to. I feel as though I have FINALLY adjusted to two, that going outside of the realm of our house isn't going to be too difficult. Don't get me wrong, I do have moments of paranoia, like if O starts crying and is hungry and then Bea wants to run around and not sit still. It will be fine, I know, just fine...BUT...

Josh's mom called me tonight and it's been a while since they have seen the girls. She knew Josh was going out of town and she asked me if the girls could stay over tomorrow night. While I want them with me, a break would be nice. So I agreed. And can I say I already miss them being away from me? It's only Thursday evening! Ok, so a night alone...what in the world should I do?

While a candlelight bath and girlie movie are definitely in order (and maybe a glass of wine), my butt has to get to Costco, Target, and a number of other places for this upcoming BBQ that I may have been a fool to plan. I didn't expect a lot of people would want to come see us, but my body starts convulsing over the possibility of 30 people at our house, 10 of those being kids. And the weather...it better hold out. And the people? I hope they show. And my friends from SD? I can't wait to see them and they are staying here. Another thing I am stressed over? Our house still sort of looks like a rental. Yeah, we bought it over a year and a half ago and I have FINALLY started making small upgrades (curtains, rods, pictures hung on walls), but I want the whole thing done before people who I haven't seen in a long time come to visit. Maybe I should just give myself a break because we moved in right after having Bea and then I got pregnant with Olivia right after that. Which leads me to one more thing...

Probably what I am MOST concerned about - two things, really - are these:

- I need to get the girls new and cute outfits to show them off in.

- They better damn well be healthy for this occasion!

More ranting? I am done. For tonight.

Sweet Potato Massacre

Olivia won. The sweet potatoes*, well they were pretty much dead on arrival.

Last night was a first attempt at something new - sweet potatoes.

The first bite was taken quite well. Then excitement. The spoon was batted out of my hand on numerous occasions. Some was dribbled out of the mouth at times. But, most did make it in the mouth. And the mouth, well it was open, waiting and ready for almost every single bite.

This was the first time that she ate the whole carton...and slept through the night like a little lamb (and so did her sister)...Shhhh. Let's not jinx it, ok?




*Sweet Potatoes: A food endorsed and loved by most of our family.

A Visit From G&G T

This weekend was a good time. My parents came out from Colorado for a visit. They flew in on Saturday, my dad's birthday, and stayed until Monday morning. The weekend was a great time and was filled with a lot of laughs.

After picking them up from Oakland due to a flight change, we came back home and relaxed for a while. Then, we had to show them Bea's favorite park, where she played for quite a bit on the slides and swings. I think a fun time was had by everyone.

As dinner time rolled around, my dad decided that he wanted BBQ for his birthday feast, so we took him to our favorite spot, Sam's in Campbell.

As the night came to an end, we read the girls stories and sat around together. The girls were exhausted.

On Sunday, we got up and moving somewhat slowly. Well, most of us. Olivia was up at 5am for the day and then Bea shortly after. Josh took them to Starbucks while I slept in, or relaxed a bit. Josh made us all French Toast, and then we headed out to the Farmer's Market, where we got some fresh veggies and my dad got most of the ingredients (except tomatoes, which we had a ton of in our garden) to make his special salsa recipe.

We all relaxed in the afternoon and hung out in the backyard. It was so nice to just relax with the girls and my parents. My dad took so many great pics this weekend that I want to post them all, but here are some of my favorites, and oh my gosh, I am actually in some!

Grandpa and Olivia chilling in the backyard:


Grandma and Olivia have a sweet moment:


Grandma and Bea swinging:


Me and Bea on the swings:


Our first "family of four" photo:


Grandpa and Bea go down the slide together:


The curious little O:


Bea in O's seat, laughing in her poopy pants:


And as I wrote this, my dad took a photo of us:

Olivia at Seven Months

(I've asked Josh to make a guest appearance this month for Olivia's letter, as I have been incredibly busy. I don't think I could've done any better!)

Dear little Miss Olive,

Your mommy has asked me (your proud father) to write your seven-month letter.


Well, where to start. You appear to be the little drama queen (I guess it's your mother's blood in you) and have learned to grunt, coo and cry your way into getting what you want, which is typically attention or the bubba. If you can't see us, don't worry too much about it, because we can definetly hear you. You are actually training your mommy and daddy very well.


We can tell when you're sick of sitting and you let us know with your noisy outbursts that obtain some intellectual stimulation from your surroundings. You have also shown us the ability you have to roll your tongue, laugh when tickled (dad does this to you a lot), slap your hands hard against your legs which delights you with your noisy accomplishment.




Things that have changed in you that really make me feel proud are:

When I pick you up from daycare, I get the biggest smiles in the world from you the second you hear my voice, and I can tell that you just want me to come to you and hold you so you can get a good look at your daddy's face.

When you wake up in the night and are happy as a clam and never grouchy...It's hard for me to hold a grudge for waking me up with your beautiful hazel eyes batting at me with big smiles while you gulp the bubba.

Your absolute cuteness and girly features (long arms, legs and neck on a skinny long frame of a body). Which is actually starting to make me worry about when you start talking about boys.

Lastly, your attitude. I don't know where you or your sister got it, but you two have the best, brightest, most bubbly happy personalities of anyone I have ever met. I want you to stay that way always, and being your daddy, I'm going to try my hardest to keep you and your sister that way for the rest of your lives.

I love you little Miss O,

Daddy

For Jenn...

Who made me cry today for her bravery and making me realize that I am so lucky.

I love you baby girls. I will kiss and hug you both as I always do when I get home today...but a little more than usual today.

Going Back in Time

Each day that passes brings us just a little closer to Bea's 2nd birthday. As she approached her first birthday, I was very happy about reaching that one-year mark, as in "We made it! As parents, we must have done something right!" But as she gets closer to two, I am sad. It's the clear mark of little girlhood. Real sentences. Real tantrums. Real poops on the potty. Since this blog didn't exist back when she turned one, I need to reminisce - if just for myself - of that one year birthday celebration:




The guest of honor was tired and cranky. She was more interested in the plate than the yummy cake I made. She had already had a big hoopla of a party thrown for her at daycare in which she decided that an afternoon nap was not necessary. She chose to gum the the wrapping paper of her gifts instead of checking out her cool new presents (most of which were clothes). Boy, I was glad that we didn't have an actual party where we invited people over. Instead, it was an intimate cranky-fest, so-to-speak. But, one that was enjoyable.

This year it's possible that she may get a party, something small, as we celebrate the big 2. I haven't yet decided completely. If so, I know that it won't be on her birthday as the actual day will fall on a Wednesday. I guess we'll see...It's still about four months away. I can't help but ALWAYS think ahead these days.

A Bit Under the Weather

The last week has been torture.

First, Josh. He started feeling sick last Wednesday and was out of work Thursday and Friday.

Then, Bea. Not exactly sure what happened with her. She threw up in the middle of the night on Thursday. Then threw up again, then again. She was happy as can be, not grumpy at all. So on Friday I got her ready for daycare. Right as we were making our way to the front door she threw up again. So, she stayed home with Josh. And was happy.

Next, me. I started feeling some aches on Friday night, which then turned into a sore throat, plugged ears and achiness all over. The same thing Josh had. Still have sore throat, plugged ears and general head cold.

Finally, Olivia. She threw up on Saturday. Then threw up, and then threw up some more. Let's just say I'm not entirely sure that O was sick. I was exhausted and not feeling well, and she was cranky and ready for a nap. I popped her in her swing, where she swung for a very long time. Motion sickness? It's a possibility, for exhausted mommy did not turn off the swing once she fell asleep. Still, it was at moderate speed and swinging furiously through the air. I still feel horrible.

It's been a trying week for us all. I'm still not feeling well. It appears everyone else is feeling better now, which is nice. In times like these, I tell myself over and over again that it is only temporary. And, seriously, this round of Bea puke was bearable...maybe because we've just gotten used to it. The best present ever? A month of no sickness in our house. Well, that would just be the best gift EVER.

Attempting to Think Ahead

Halloween is fastly approaching, and I am attempting to figure out what the girls will be since I will only be able to for a few years. After that, I am sure they will let me know what their choices are.

Last year, Bea's costume was, of course, a bee. It was a given. This year I'm struggling with what is going to be good. I have to take into account that the girl loves to run around, get dirty and cannot be resticted with any obtrusive ornaments. Nor will she wear ANYTHING on her head. The two ideas I have are a pretty princess witch seen here or a princess that you can see here. They both have hats, yes. I'm not sure what to do. I also like this little red riding hood one. Please, if you have some ideas or have seen anything cute, please pass it along. And, no, I don't want to make her Dora. The one costume that is available is super expensive and looks as though they just paired some orange shorts with a purple shirt and included a wig.

As for Olivia, it's a whole different story. Talk about the cuteness factor...I am having a hard time deciding, so I'd be curious to see what some people think. The choices are: a pony (view it here), a flower (view it here), a pink octopus (view it here), or probably my most favorite, Princess Leia (view it here). I could probably list about 20 more that I like for her, but I have to think that it is a possibility that she may be crawling, so I have keep those legs out where they can move. We had that issue with Bea's bee costume last year.

Oh, this one has got to be cutest thing I have seen in my life.

So many choices, and only 45 days to go....

Odds and Ends

Olivia update: She is feeling much better after starting antibiotics. However, she wanted to stay up and party with me late last night (maybe 10 PM is not late to some, but it is to this tired mom). She did end up sleeping the whole night after that.

Bea update: Still hugging. Still kissing. Still happy. She's started saying names of her playmates at daycare. "Ashlee" is my favorite.

Jenna update: A hectic evening yesterday. After Olivia's stay at Josh's parents yesterday, I picked up Bea at daycare, came home for awhile, then headed out with Bea to his parents. All was fine until the trek home. I made four, yep four, stops:

1) After driving two blocks, the "door open" light comes on. I stop and open and close all doors. Meanwhile, Bea asks for her buh-buh which I realize is empty. Crap.

2) After driving another few blocks and going around quite a few corners, I turn around to give Bea something and notice that Olivia's car seat is COMPLETELY on its side. She's riding vertical, but she's screeching in happiness. Clearly unsafe, I stop and fix. Bea starts yelling for buh-buh. And then starts crying when I tell her I don't have any for her.

3) Crying is getting pretty crazy, so I stop at a gas station that is on the way in an effort to buy some milk. They only have chocolate or strawberry, plus every other drink imaginable. No plain milk. I hop back in the car and decide to stop for some food. Bea is screaming for buh-buh.

4) Last stop and the drive-thru is miles long. There's no way I am going inside and bringing the cranky one and the happy one in. Way too much for me at this point. I wait in the drive-thru and pray they have milk. They do. When getting the food at the window, the lady was like "my, you've got a hungry one there." Uh, yeah, I do...Fork over that milk, please. She gets her buh-buh and is now happy. We head home.

Josh update: He's under the weather and not feeling well. Hopefully, this will make him feel better:

Leave Her Alone!

Dearest ear infection,

You've managed to make baby girl O's life a living and breathing hell the last couple of days. Additionally, you've made my life just as miserable. You managed to disturb her so much on Monday night, that she didn't sleep. Ok, she slept, but she awoke every hour and some hours she was up the whole time. She wasn't calm. She was restless, screaming, crying. Because of this, you only let me have a few hours of sleep, in which I was awoken in the freak-like manner that I was when she was a newborn, having to quickly run to her side, lest she wake up her sister. I walked around like a zombie yesterday, thanks to you.

You gave her a fever. You made us give her suppositories. You made her the unhappy baby that she never is.

We are over it. We want you out of our lives. Specifically, out of B and O's lives. It doesn't matter that because they were born a little premature that that gives you more of right to come for a visit. You shouldn't play favorites like that.

Oh, and an additional thanks in advance for the next ten days, in which she will be receiving antiobiotics that she will more than likely throw up.

You are an unwanted guest in our house. When will you be welcome? When you inform us that you are coming so that we can avoid you alltogether.

Good riddance,
Olivia's Mom

Pooping Versus Farting (This post is NOT graphic)

On our way out to the car yesterday, I smell stink coming from Bea. I'm about to take them to daycare, and well, I would feel guilty if I dropped her off with a messy dipe for them to clean up first thing. It's just wrong. I needed to investigate the situation at hand. This is what happened:

"Bea, did you poop?"

"No."

"I smell poop. Did you poop?"

"No."

Sniff test instills.

"Hmmm. Maybe you just farted. Did you fart?"

"Yeah."

"Do you even know what fart means?"

"Yeah."

"Did you really fart?"

"Yeah."

"Seriously, I think you pooped. Did you poop?"

"NO!"

She belted out that "NO" like I couldn't believe. So adamant about not pooping, but instead just farted it up. Seriously, though, I should have called it "tooting" or something more public-friendly. I'm cringing at the thought of her yelling loudly in public someday stating "I FARTED!"

Oh, and for the record, she did only fart.

Beatrice at 20 Months

Dear Beatrice,

Today you are 20 months old. Why does that number sound so incredibly big?

This month has been a crazy ride for you...really, is it ever any different? Your personality is coming out more than ever, and your vocabulary is vastly expanding. Some of your new words for the month are: tree, Francie, Da Da (YEAH!), cup, Swiper. I cannot even touch the surface on this front because you seem to say something new every day now, and everytime you do, I always ask you to repeat it because I'm very much in shock at how fast you are picking things up. The ones I have mentioned are my true favorites, but the one that tops the cake is "tree". It seems that everytime we walk by one or are driving in the car, you are quick to point it out to us. One day we were driving on a street not far from our home and the street was filled with them. The word "tree" must have come out of your mouth about twenty times in row. I loved it.


Aside from new words, you've picked up something from both your father and I, and that is when we call your name, your reply is "Yeah?" My dear, this is something a teenager would do if a parent called to them from another room. Not come, but just reply with a "Yeah", as in "Whatcha want?" I don't at all find it irritating, but mostly funny, because it is something your father and I do to each other. Sometimes it's almost like you can't be bothered because you are so happy playing in your room. Half the time I do it as a check up on you if I am tending to your sister. And, another thing that is important for me to note is that when I yell for you using "Bea" or "Beatrice", it will often take two or three times before you reply. However, when I call "Beatrice Samantha", the "Yeah" is quick to follow.


There was one night this last month when you were a complete live wire. You were still awake at 10:30 PM. You were running all over the house, dancing, jumping, talking. We had the house completely dark since about 9 in order to get you settled down for bed. You weren't having it at all. We don't know what was actually going on with you, but we think it might have been that you woke up from your nap at daycare at 5. I can tell you one thing - I hope that never happens again. However, you were pure entertainment to your father and I, and we were laughing at the energy coming out of you. At one point, you were looking out the window and you screamed "PLANE!" I didn't hear one, so I whispered, "Where? Show me!" You were pointing with all kinds of force in that arm and finger. I looked out the window, and yes, even though there were no sounds of a plane, there was one high up in the sky and appeared as a moving light. You continue to amaze me with instances just like this one.

You had just one sickness this last month, but it couldn't have been more scary than it was. You had croup. Your father and I thought there was something terribly wrong with you when you woke up sounding like a barking seal in the middle of the night. The sound of it frightened you as well, and it was hard for you to catch your breath. Your father took you to the emergency room while I layed awake worrying about you and fearing something terrible. It wasn't too bad, and I guess it can be pretty common. Fortunately, you snapped out of it pretty quickly and you are back to being your punk-like self. We've been more than concerned about you being sick so much, so your doctor - Dr. M - said that if you get sick again in the very near future, we might have to do some tests. I honestly believe that you just play hard so you just pick up everything by being around it. That's what I believe...


I've had a closeness with you this past month that I haven't felt in a while. You know that you are more than important to me and that I love you so very much, but this month was a little different. I feel that I have spent more time with you, and in a way, I feel as if there are things you have done to show me that I mean something to you. Specifically, when you say "Ma Ma" and kiss me. It's happened a number of times. Sometimes it's in the middle of the night or when I drop you off at daycare or just whenever you feel like it. Sometimes you hold your arms up and say "Ma Ma" when your father is already holding you, letting me know that you want me for that particular moment. Of course, the tide always does turn but for some of those moments you have made me feel so much like a mom, so needed, so wanted.


This last week you awoke early one morning at 5 am. It was the weekend. You came to the side of the bed and said "Ma Ma", holding your arms up. For the second time ever, I pulled you into our bed. Generally, you go back to your bed or the couch, but for some reason I couldn't resist you. You quickly snuggled up to me and fell soundly asleep, not your usual restless self. The only other time I ever did this was when you were four months old, and I was to return back to work from my maternity leave. I snuggled you for as long as I possibly could that morning. And I did the same thing this last month. You slept, and I did too for a little bit, but I was up just holding you, smelling your hair, and kissing your head. I will never let go of that moment. Ever.

I love you,
Mama

Parking It at the Park

We have a couple of different parks within walking distance from our home. So, on Tuesday night, Josh mentioned that we should really start taking advantage of it while it would also let Bea blow off her "end of day" steam (i.e. - use up all of her energy that she has left for the rest of the day so that she will collapse from exhaustion by 9pm).

Need I even mention that she LOVES the park? Josh said that if we wanted to, we could probably just hang out there until it gets dark. There would be no complaints coming from her. I know he's right. However, in the back of mind I think, "How many germs are at that there park?" It's a feeding ground, I'm sure. That's not going to stop the fun...it musn't! I mean, look at these photos (I've included one of the Olive, too):













Lastly, here is a video that Josh shot on Wednesday when he took the girls solo to the park. I'm not certain what makes me more nervous:

1) The fact that she can CLIMB up the slide WITHOUT assistance and not fall head first to the ground.

2) That in the end of the video she is checking out the pop warner jocks.

Just two things to look for when watching (and I'm not certain what the deal is with all the pixelation)...oh, and you can also hear her say "Da Da" and "Yeah" as well as see a number of funny reactions.

Dancing Proof

I'm overloaded right now with everything, I tell you. One thing that is definitely getting me through? This video, which is half Bea dancing and half of her doing her foot fetish thing again, but will always make me smile (by the way, sound is not needed for full viewing pleasure - any background music will do):

Deeply Hurt

One of my good friends recently had a baby, and I have been dreaming up impossible fantasies that her and I will become very close because our daughters are only 4 1/2 months apart. I know that she was going through a rough time after the birth. And I, knowing that it is a difficult time and adjustment for almost every new mother, have offered to help or visit or just listen, if necessary.

My offer has never been taken up on, which I can understand because as a new mom I felt the same way, too. You want to do everything right but feel as if everyone will judge you as doing everything wrong. I am definitely not one to judge on mothering, as I attempt to just make it work how I can, no matter what the situation. People can judge all they want, but until they have walked a day in my shoes, they really shouldn't judge. I know I've written a previous post about some of the things we have done as parents that some would not agree with, which I think are considered pretty mild. Anyway, this friend is a perfectionist, in a good way of course, wanting to everything right and I am sure, by the book. I think she would easily feel judged.

Every baby is different...some cry a lot while others just want to sleep a lot. Some love car rides and go to sleep immediately while it makes others cranky and just want to cry. Some nap for hours on end while others take 5 minute power naps all day long. From what it sounded like, hers is a crier and and she hasn't had a moment to herself in two months. This is why I continue to offer. I try to be a good friend because at times it feels as if I don't have any.

It originally sounded to me like she was nervous to go anywhere, but this was a few weeks ago. So, I offered to come to her. I emailed her. I called her. I never talked to her. Today I got a note from her which literally made me cry, stating that September was a very busy month, and that they will mostly be at their other home October through January because it is hunting season and her husband likes to hunt. There were really no "Jenna visiting" openings until January, and that is yet to be determined. Why has this made me so sad?

I guess I wonder about a few things. Is it because she is not ready for visitors and just doesn't want to tell me that? But, why would she tell me it is so hard and now they are going places? Does she not want me as a friend anymore? I guess I need to step back.

It's just so very hard for me because when I became a mom I thought I lost a lot of friends. And now that I know more people having babies, I have felt like our lives are now more similar than ever and it would be easier to get together. We're on the same plane - finally. But, I feel this situation is the opposite and just wonder if it is me. Have I done something? Why am I questioning it so much. I love this friend, and I don't want to lose her.

I think it would be so fun for my girls to be friends with my friends kids. I feel as though I am living the impossible dream.

4:40 AM

Someone was up and ready to party for a good hour and a half at 3:30 am. When all was finally said and done and I was laying with her on the couch (pretending to sleep, might I add), Bea does the following:

Looks at me. Sits up. Leans over to me. "Ma Ma," she says. Then kisses me on the forehead.

Then all frustrations leave me (briefly, at least) about getting just a few hours of sleep.



Sidenote: Bea is doing much better now, and so are the rest of us after catching something that was going around. Now, if everyone would just sleep through the night once again, we will all feel like ourselves again.

Playing Mommy

In the past, it has been obvious to see that Bea loves Olivia. She constantly says her name, wants to hug her and just be around her in general.

I witnessed some very sweet moments yesterday on three different occasions:

1) When Olivia cries and someone doesn't get to her quickly enough, Bea will instantly find her bottle if it is out, grab it, and take it over to her. She's now starting to stick that bottle right into Olivia's mouth, and sometimes Olivia will take it. One time this happened and I told Bea that it was so nice of her, but I didn't think Olivia was hungry. Well, Olivia took the bottle, and I said to Bea, "I guess I was wrong. You're right, she's hungry."

2) When Olivia is napping and Bea isn't, Bea constantly says, "Shhh....Olivia." As in be quiet, don't wake up the sleeping baby. Now, along with her shushing, she will go find a blanket that Olivia has been known to use and bring it to her. Sometimes she actually gets it on over her pretty well, but sometimes she is a little harsh and disturbs her sister. In any case, it's such a caring gesture.

3) This last one I was so in astonishment over. Last night when we were wrapping up dinner, Josh had started to get the girls bath going. Olivia was still in her high chair, applesauce and spoon still on the table. Bea was roaming around and getting ready for her bath. As I was cleaning up, Bea grabbed the spoon out of the applesauce and put it in her sister's mouth. And Olivia ate it. She then did it about five more times, each time dipping the spoon in the applesauce and then making a direct hit into Olivia's mouth. Of course, each time I told her "good job". It was so amazing. And Olivia was happy to take it from her. And Bea was so excited that she helped out.

It's amazing how much children take in and learn from it. How would she know what to do unless she really paid attention to us doing it? Amazing.

Lastly, Bea now kisses her sister every chance she gets. The kiss sound even comes out. The love of sisters is amazing. I never had one, but I hope these two remain as close as ever and watch over each other, like what Bea is starting to now do. It makes me feel like we've done something right...

Blaring Beck at 8am

Our house is a disaster. We've not been home the last few weekends and the weekdays are pretty chaotic, plus this last week we have had two sick kids on our hands.

This morning I kindly asked Josh if he would help me clean it up. He agreed, and said we should put on some music. So, at 8am, Beck poured out of our sound system pretty loudly. Both girls were awake, and had been for about an hour.

As Olivia sat in her comfy spot on the sofa, she watched her crazy mom, dad and sister dance in the living room for a good 15 minutes. Josh then realized that we need to start videotaping more of these moments. I agree. Though I have no footage of the above scene (due to dead battery on video cam, which is now charging), I will always remember that moment. Everyone was so happy - Bea dancing away and Olivia kicking her legs and laughing and screaming.

My girls have definitely got good taste in music, oh yeah.

And a small part of me really hopes that one of my girls becomes a dancer, like I was.