My Five Favorite Times of the (Week) Day

1. Getting/seeing the girls when they wake up in the morning. (Clarification: When they are happy, not grumpy)

2. Having my Starbucks Grande Nonfat Mocha with Whip.

3. Listening to the entertainment news on 106.5 at 5:40 pm on my drive home from work.

4. The greeting I get when I get home from work from Josh, Bea and Olivia. There is nothing like that...

5. After the girls fall asleep at night, going in and tucking them in and giving them kisses.

How Bottles and Heaven are like Peas and Carrots

I picked up Bea from daycare last Friday and heard the most amazing story about her bottles. It truly was something that I NEVER would have thought up myself. So, when we got home, I proceeded to call Josh on speakerphone with Bea in the room and we had the following conversation:

"Oh my gosh, you will not believe what happened at Francie's today!"

"What?"

"So, DORA called MISS FRANCIE."

"She did?"

(Note: We have a whole lot of enthusiasm in our voices.)

"Yes! She called and told Bea she was a big girl and that she didn't need her bottles anymore!"

"Really?"

"Yes! DORA told her that her bottles went to heaven! What was once in her bottle, is now in her big girl cup. But the bottles, they are in heaven."

"No way! Bea's bottles are in heaven? Wow, that is SO great!"

So, through Friday night I kept reiterating this story to her in hopes of reminding her what had happened that day. The biggest challenge was getting her to bed at night without it, even though she really was only having one in the morning and at night or when she really needed some comfort. Putting her to bed without one the first night was not as bad as I had imagined it being. She whined for a little bit and didn't want the cup. Then she had some from the cup, but not much. She whined a bit more and was out.

I really thought she would wake up every hour begging for it, but instead, she got up once and called from her bed that she wanted it. She said "Buh-buh" about thirty times, each time with more intensity than the last. Then, it was quiet. She went back to sleep without it. She got up the next morning fine as can be.

The following days have been fairly easy, but the roughest part is at bedtime. It takes her much longer to go to sleep, especially without a fight. With the bottles, it kind of knocked her out quickly. She seems to have gotten over it now for the most part, and she isn't even bothered that her sister still has them. I've only told her that Olivia's bottles have not gone to heaven yet. Now Bea has started telling the story herself, saying to people that her bottles went to heaven. If I had known it was going to be this easy, I really would've taken the plunge much earlier. After 2 1/2 years of her on a bottle, I am so relieved to have her off of them. Only one more child to go!

So, no more of these for Bea:


We've moved on to every drink being in these now:


Please give us a gold star. She has not had a bottle since Friday morning and we are still going strong. Potty training, here we come!

And We Have Lift Off!

She's walking! Well, she took her first few steps a couple of weeks ago, but here's some video of this evening. The word on the streets is that she is walking more than crawling now at daycare. We have to encourage her a lot, and now she is much more motivated than before. Instead of giving you the long, drawn-out clips of pretty much nothing and a little bit of walking, I give you the blast off, quick and short version:



Go Livey!

I want to thank everyone for their comments on my last post - I received many - by phone and email, too. It's nice to know I'm not alone. Everything that everyone said touched my heart and meant something to me. However, I don't have any sort of conclusion as of yet and have continued to think a lot about it. I hope it happens one day, and maybe that time will come when the kids are in school and we don't have the additional daycare cost, or maybe I will resort to something else. Or maybe I volunteer some of my free time now to see what it would be like. I want to touch many more lives than just the people I know and my own family. But for now, I am just continuing to plug along.

Positive and Negative

You’ll probably learn more about me from this post if you don’t know me in real life, because most of the time I post about the girls, but this one is mostly about me:

I'm so tired of sitting in front of a computer all day for my career. So tired of it! That's not me at all.

For the last week, I have been asking myself how I got here and why I am doing what I do for my career. I guess I am having a mid-career crisis. I work in PR, and I got a BS degree in it from the 3rd best school in the nation that offers it as its own degree. I’ve never been happy in my career. Well, maybe once or twice. It’s easy for me, and I’m bored with it now at the middle level. I’m tired of the office, the computer, and my darn BlackBerry tying me down. Is it summer fever? I don’t think so because I’ve felt this way for a while now.

While deciding on majors for college, it was a tough choice for me. I had no idea what I wanted to do. I like working with people and I like helping people - those were the two things that I knew. Two options that I was considering for a career were PR and PT. Public Relations and Physical Therapy. I have wondered since graduating college why PR is called what it is in the industry that I work in. I have the PR title, but I am NEVER working with the public. I never have in my field. Ever. Sometimes I feel like I was misled or that maybe I just chose the wrong industry to do it in, or hell, maybe I am just naïve. I’m bored. Could do this in my sleep. Really don’t want to climb up the ladder anymore because it could be way too stressful.

So enter PT. That was my second career choice, and it would have been a different college that I would have attended. It wasn’t what I ended up choosing. For the last week I have been drawn to this career far too much and have been thinking about it way too much. I’ve been thinking about how I could get there. And then I feel overwhelmed. I want to help people, because seriously, I love people and interacting with them and helping them in some way. You probably never knew that I worked at a retirement home once and worked with those that were very much declining in health. Sure, I served them food, but when some people saw me they would light up because I, unlike others, would ask them how they were and would have conversations with them. If they had a request, I made sure it was taken care of. I give personal attention, and I like to make people happy and feel better about themselves, too. I often felt I was helping them, and that made me feel good inside. That feeling I once had about my work has taken over most of my thoughts and wanting to get back to that place. I’m tired of going home empty at the end of the day with no said accomplishment.

That place is out of reach, I feel. To do PT, I would have to go back to school. Now, if I only wanted to be an assistant, it wouldn’t take that long to get a certificate for that. The pay? It’s not much. I’d want to get the PT degree. And what would I really want to do with it? Be an inhome pediciatric PT. Gosh, I would love that. Especially when the girls start school, then I could be home with them in the afternoon after school if I wished. So, it really is out of reach, because how do I continue to work full time, go to school, and spend time with my family? I feel like I don’t spend enough time with my family as it is. I can’t quit my job. I bet some of the classes are also only offered during the day. I understand why you would need schooling for it, but I wish it wasn’t a requirement. I’m so stumped. I guess everyone can have dreams, right?

I suppose you’re asking why I never chose to go to school for that in the first place. Not sure, really. All I know is that if I hadn’t chose the path that I did end up taking, I never would have met Josh, and I never would have had my two beautiful girls. Things tend to happen for a reason that way…and I wouldn’t change that. I just want a career change, not a family change.

Beatrice at Two and a Half Years

Dear Beatrice,

Today you are two and a half years old. I can't help but ask myself where the time went. It seems like just yesterday you were a baby in my arms, and now you are this little person, this little girl. Some days I just can't get over it. It's been an amazing ride, these last couple of years. Quite a ride, indeed.

Over the last several months you've turned heads everywhere. Your counting? It's off the charts and going into the 20's. The alphabet? You know it like the back of your hand. You struggled for a little while with "L, M, N, O", but you've got it down perfectly now. Colors? Don't even go there with you. You even know black and white, and let's not forget pink. Sometimes you try to fool us by saying the wrong color, but I think you are only teasing, because when asked again you get it right.

In addition to the basic things like colors and the alphabet, the words you know and say surprise everyone. Cactus. How would you know that? Thorns. Yeah, they are sharp and you need to stay away from them. Crap. There's one that you only said a couple of times and quickly forgot. An egg hatches. What in the?? Oh, and your name? This amazes me...you go around saying "I'm Beatrice." And when someone asks what your last name is, you quickly respond with "Beatrice K******". It makes me smile every single time. Every single time.


You know that "Saturday" is the day that your father is home in the morning and you can't wait to see him, but on the weekdays you can't understand why he didn't say goodbye to you. This is just one instance where I am trying to learn how to explain things to you in a way that makes sense. Sometimes it's hard because I really didn't expect this from you so soon.

Your grandma and grandpa T were out here for an entire month, and we spent the fourth of July with them. This was the first year ever that you actually saw fireworks (the last two years entailed you sleeping one time and having a high fever the other). You were so excited to see the fireworks, and we talked about seeing them all day long. When it came time to go you were trying to rush everyone around because we thought we were going to be late. In the car, you told everyone to be quiet and that we had to hurry - all in a whisper. When the fireworks started, you sat in my arms and oohed and aahed, laughed and clapped. Then you laid down next to your father and watched them from that point of view. When they were over, you were a bit disappointed. How could they be over with all of that anticipation you experienced? For the next couple of days that was all you talked about...now you realize that they are all done until next year. Your father and I think that it will probably be your first real memory. We hope so, because it was a memorable time.


Speaking of grandma and grandpa T, you spent a lot of time with them while they were here. You went swimming with your grandmother quite a bit, and she even got you out on her kickboard. You had a lot of fun, but I think you were very concerned about their dog, Abby, the most. Grandma also spruced up your blanket, and now it has more years of enjoyment to come. In any case, I am glad you spent time with them because they sure enjoyed spending time with you.


Your favorite place to go right now is the Rose Garden by our house. Nearly every day we gather up pennies and walk over to the rose garden fountain. You throw your pennies in there and you love running around and looking and smelling the roses. Otherwise, a good portion of your time is spent outdoors...that is where you love to be most.


I have also noticed over the last couple of months how much you are turning into a girl. We had a nail and toe painting session that was very memorable. You had pink fingernails and toes and just adored them. After I painted them, I just looked at you and you appeared so grown up. Then I thought about how I can't wait to take you to the salon with me someday and get pedicures. I'm looking forward to that, but I can wait. Right now I am just enjoying watching you and the way you see everything. Things are so different from your perspective - so simple, yet so complicated. Almost unexplainable.

Beatrice, you are more than amazing.

You are so intelligent, so unique, and so beautiful.

Just what will you be like when you grow up?

If it's anything like what I have seen over the last two and a half years, the world is so incredibly luck to have you.

My Beatrice. I am so glad you're my daughter.

I love you,
Mama

What the Future Holds

"Mommy, Daddy...Go away!" (These are real words coming from Bea's mouth.)

Just why does she want us to go away?


Nearly every single toy has been pulled out of its rightful spot and is spattered all over the floor. Nearly every toy! This is the second night this has happened, and tonight is one of them. I'm not looking forward to helping the child pick it all up, but at least it is keeping her entertained.

On another note, do you think that this one is also a future wheeler?