The Inconsistent Parent

He gave me the look. The look that means my parenting has been completely inconsistent and that I should know better. But, I think he understands it because he does it with certain things, too. The situation is this:

Child: Toddler named Bea.

Parent: Yours truly.

Child: Doesn’t want to go to bed at night.

Parent: Is frustrated because likes the half hour to hour of alone time at night.

Child: Thinks she is missing something if others are awake when she goes to bed.

Parent: Puts child to bed around 8:30.

Child: Gets up 5 minutes later.

Parent: Puts child back to bed and answers the many questions that the child asks.

Child: Stays in bed for 5 minutes.

Parent: Continues to put child back to bed whilst answering any and all requests that pertain to owies, blankies, bow wows, hugs, kisses, tiger, and moo moo.

Child: Won’t stay in bed and practically follows parent out of room.

Parent: Continues to put child back to bed.

Child: Gets up about 20 more times (no, that IS NOT an exaggeration).

Parent: Gets frustrated.

Child: Thinks it’s a game. Gets up again.

Parent: Puts child back to bed without saying anything to her – only “night night time”.

Child: Gets up a couple more times and then gets bored because no one is talking to her and goes to sleep.


This is all a prelude to what happened the other night. Josh somehow managed to get her to bed at a reasonable time because I said I just couldn’t do this with her another night. He comes into the bedroom as I am folding laundry:

Josh: I think I figured it out. You can’t talk to her. You just have to put her in bed. No interaction.

Me: Oh really. I thought I told you this is what we need to do all along. It doesn’t work. I do that.

Josh: No, you don’t.

Me: I do when my frustration finally peaks. That’s when I don’t talk to her and put her in bed. And then she goes to bed after that.

Josh: See?

Me: Well, how would you feel if someone asked for a hug and you didn’t give it to them?

Josh: Jenna.

Me: It’s hard not to interact with her.

Josh: She was all hyped up tonight.

Me: That’s my fault.

(I RECEIVE THE LOOK)

Josh: What did you do?

Me: I was trying to get Olivia to sleep and as I looked around in her crib, I noticed that Bea had put all of her “I NEED” stuffies in there so as to use them as a motive to stay up longer while we search everywhere for them. She was lying in her bed and couldn’t see me. So, I took each one and made them appear to fall out of the sky on top of her.

(I RECEIVE THE LOOK AGAIN)

Me: But it was so funny. She would break out into hysterics every time she saw one come down on her and was so happy to see it. It was so priceless.

So, you see, even though I want her to go to sleep, I like having that final interaction at the end of the day with her, too. Sometimes it’s hard to be strict. And it is harder than anything to be consistent about it! I guess we will get it eventually.