4 is....Um, Yeah

So I’m trying to think of some good adjective that goes with “4” along the lines of “Terrible Twos”, but I’m coming up totally blank. Both my girls are so, so, so, so different from each other. While Olivia seems to mellow out with age, I’m finding Bea to resist the happy child in her to see what she can take full advantage of.

Her 2’s were more like the “terrific two’s” and we never really saw a tantrum. As for the 3’s, whenever she didn’t like what we had to say, she would basically give herself her own time-out by running to her room and crying for a few minutes and then coming back like not much happened. I’ve heard that the 4's are the worst age, and that kids generally snap out of the chaos, tantrums, etc. at 5. Though, 4? We’re just a few weeks in...and we have at least eleven more months of stuff like this:

Bea: Momma, I’m this many, huh? (she holds up three fingers)
Me: No, honey. You need to add one more finger. You’re four now, not three.
Bea: NO MOM! I’M NOT THAT MANY (in loud screechy tone)!
Me: Bea, you don’t need to yell at me about it. But you are 4, not 3.
Bea: I’M NOT THAT MANY. YOU’RE WRONG! YOU’RE WRONG! (repeat about 20 times)
Me: You need to stop screaming at me right now and calm down.
Bea: You are the meanest mommy EVER!
Me: …
Bea: … (sticks out tongue at me)

So in addition to this little episode, when she doesn’t like something that I tell her, she will now say “you’re so fuzzy, mom!” Which, my interpretation of fuzzy is...something along the lines of bitchy.

With Josh working a lot lately, it’s been a lot to deal with. I can only hope that it’s a phase. Because during these episodes I really miss my bright-eyed, happy-go-lucky girl.

To Beatrice, on her 4th Birthday

Dear Beatrice,

It feels like I just wrote a letter not too long ago for your last birthday, but I guess that a year has already gone by. I just can't believe that you are four years old today. A part of me is sad that you are growing up, but there is also a lot of happiness, too. Watching you grow over the last year has been amazing, as you are truly coming into your own.

The constant that has been around since you were born is your happiness. Even when you wake up in the morning, you are so happy. The other morning when I went into your room, I thought I heard you being grouchy. I asked Olivia if you were grouchy and she said that you were. So when I went in there and asked you, you started laughing and said, "No, mom. I'm never grouchy in the morning. I'm always happy!" It's so true.

One thing I noticed about you this last year is how much you love to sing. I often found you singing songs that I had never heard of. Or, we would be driving somewhere and you would see something along the way and start singing about what you saw, like trees, or a song about mommy and daddy. Not too long ago it hit me. Inside of you was something so similar to someone I once knew, your great grandfather Brown. Someone you will never meet which is unfortunate, but someone who I had the chance to know for part of my life. You're just like him, I noticed - the happy demeanor, and the breaking into song whenever the opportunity presents itself about nothing in particular. I wish you had the chance to know him because you are so much like him.

It's hard for me to not write a big, sappy sentimental letter to you, and I promised myself that I would keep this one short and sweet. However, I will note as I have in past letters how much you mean to me, and all of us. I would have never thought I could have such a happy child, someone who always lights up a room. Someone who's made me smile or laugh when I just might have wanted to cry. Beatrice, everyone that has the pleasure of knowing you or meeting you for just a brief moment is so lucky. It breaks my heart when other kids don't want to play with you at the park or somewhere else and ignore you and all you want to do is talk to them and be their friend. The life-is-full-of-heartbreaks discussion is for another time, but I will say that those kids just don't know what they're missing out on.

The song I chose for your video this year is the perfect choice. Hearing it always reminds me of you. The Music Box Dancer piece is you completely. You're the dancer, always dancing when there's light around. I imagine any child that opens up a music box, well, their eyes light up hearing the music and seeing the dancer. And that is just the reaction I get whenever I see you...

Happy birthday, dear Beatrice. I love you...so very much.

Love,
Mama



All about Bea:

Birth Story
Year 2 Video
Year 3 Video

Coming Back Soon

This week has kind of blown up for a number of reasons...

...It's the first full week back to work for both of us, and back to our old routine which was abandoned for three weeks
...Josh has been working late every night
...Olivia has now said "thaaaat's nasty, mommy!"
...Bea's birthday party is this coming weekend
...I had cake issues that were resolved and we will, yes, have a cake on Sunday
...I'm trying to wrap up Bea's birthday video
...Did I mention that Olivia said "That's nasty?"

Anyway, there's a lot going on here. And we are very much looking forward to Bea's birthday this weekend. Stay tuned for her video to make its appearance on Sunday. Also, why does 4 seem so old to me? I mean, she is definitely not a toddler anymore. And she talks more like a grown up. More on that on Sunday, as I'm feeling excitment and sadness of this event. I just can't believe it has been nearly four years that she's been with us already....

Resolutions

Things I resolve to do in 2009...

1. Write that query letter and start writing that book. Eek.

2. Take a dance class. Would prefer to do the partner dance and learn the tango, but I'm pretty sure Josh won't join me, so it's looking like a solo-style dance class.

3. Walking/Running at least 3x a week.

4. Re-decorate the bedroom. (I'm already on my way!)

5. Enlist the girls in a dance/gymnastics/soccer class. Seperate classes so they can have their own experiences.

6. Make 3 new real friends in San Jose, preferably one's with children around the same age.

7. Complete the half marathon in October 09 and beat my 2008 finish time.

8. Laugh more.

9. Start an "I'm thankful" journal and write in it 3x a week as a reminder of how lucky I truly am.

10. More one-on-one time with Josh, Bea, and Olivia. Everyone needs individual attention to feel truly special.

Happy New Year!!