This last weekend

Things change so much when you become a parent. It's unexplainable unless you become one. When my friend M had her first daughter over 7 years ago, I didn't quite understand why we didn't speak so much, see each other as much...something was so different. I was living in my own world of "me" of course, and I often felt like she had no time for me and didn't care about our friendship anymore. My own little world didn't involve me even thinking she had this little one that was her priority, and shame on me for ever thinking this way. The fact is, things change. You either have to accept things the way they are and make it work, or just let it go. I realize now that I should have been there for her more, helped her more and just make myself a part of her new life. I never wanted to lose that friendship, and thankfully, I haven't...but, I think I should have made things work better.

Now that I have children of my own, I can understand better what she was going through. There's no time for anything anymore, and family is the priority (most of the time, that is). Lately, J and I have been feeling left out of things - things that our friends with no kids do. We are not free to just get up and go anymore. We think that when the girls are a little older, it will be a little easier to have someone watch them for us. But, for now, it's a little hard to do what we want. And I feel that people just don't understand the situation...it's not that we don't want to do things, it's just that it is hard and that, please understand, I may have to stop a conversation to run after my child or change a poopie diaper or something else. But, please, let's just continue the conversation when all is well with the world again (i.e. - have captured running daughter, diaper is now refreshed, etc.) like nothing interrupted it.

So, this last weekend, we had the pleasure (not exactly sure if this is the right term) of being invited to 2 birthday parties. Let me clarify - these were for kids. Bea had the best time. Of course, she loves other kids and playing with them, so it was just her scene. And, as for Josh and I, well it was quite nice in spite of not really knowing anyone. We made friends quickly with others because we had something in common...children. And, I really had to laugh because there were so many interruptions of parents having to run after their little ones. It was actually the first place I felt comfortable in a while and didn't have to worry what other people thought because they just understood.

Sidenote: I found the power cord that had mysteriously disappeared (thought Bea had possibly thrown it in the garbage), so the digital cam is up and working again and I will be posting more pictures soon.

Mission Impossible: Kite Replacement

So, yesterday when Josh got home with O, he says "want to go to the hobby shop?" Huh? On a week night? Surely, he must be joking. He wanted to mix it up from the usual:

Get home from work
Make dinner
Give girls baths
Get everything ready for next day
Wind down girls
Put girls to bed
Go to bed
(repeat same darn thing the next day, and the next day, oh...and the day after that, too)

So, I'm thinking this is really going to ruin the routine that I have been doing as long as I can remember. I have to admit that I was a little nervous, but sometimes you just have to mix it up, as I mentioned before.

Flashback to about a month ago, when the family was chilling at the rose garden on a hot evening and we brought along Josh's childhood red, white and blue kite. That thing could really soar the skies and was a sight to see, and Bea loved watching it up in the sky and would start to get upset if it got too close to the ground. Josh was getting all crazy with it and the wind had picked up and in one quick second it took a wrong turn and headed straight for a tree that was the size of a skyscraper. He tugged and tugged the string to try to get it out of the tree, all to no avail. Suddenly there was a snap and the string broke. Bye bye kite. Somehow, the string was attached to the kite to let it do some sky dancing still. It looked happy, but it also wanted to come out, I think.

Flash forward to a few weeks later when I take the girls back to the park by myself. The kite is still up there dancing. And Bea remembered. As soon as she saw it, she pointed it to it and said "uh-oh". I was actually hoping it might just fall out of the tree while we were there so we would look like heroes coming home from the park. No such luck.

So, yesterday we were on a mission to get a new kite. There is this hobby shop that I have only heard stories about. Meanwhile, we have some trouble finding it (Josh had been there one other time) and you could tell the girls were getting feisty and hungry. We ended up finding it. Go to open the front door. The store is closed. What kind of hobby shop closes at 6 PM on a summer night??????

All hope lost of finding a new kite, we drown our sorrows at the nearby DQ. There was nothing that burgers, hot dogs, french fries, onion rings, and shakes could not fix. And it was just the perfect hangout for our family of 4, where tantrums and crying were welcome and not looked poorly upon.

Guess we'll be visiting the old hobby shop sometime on the weekend, hopefully - if it's open. And even though the routine got mixed-up, everything still got done. I can relax now.

Nay Nays

Nay nay's is Bea speak for raisins. It's all about the raisins right now. It's part of her routine, or at least, it has become that way for the last week and a half. No later than 5 minutes before we get in the door from daycare, she will run to the kitchen, point up to where they sit on the cabinet and start saying "nay nay" over and over again. It's cute, unless by chance, we have run out of those single-boxed packages of yummy goodness....

So, yesterday, it started out as your general "nay nay" scenario, then I suddenly realized that there were none. I had a screaming child jumping up and down in the kitchen having a tantrum...screaming for her raisins, then saying raisins between huge sobs. My only choice was to grab the child and go get some. She screamed the whole way to the store and after searching for those darn things in the entire store, I thought maybe they didn't have them. But, alas, on the last aisle there they were. She wasn't as happy as I thought she would be to see them, but she was happy. I gave her a single package and let her loose....and she was a happy little Bea once again.


One final note about raisins: They are a good source of fiber for the girl, however, I do not like that they look the same when they come out on the other end.

The Weekend Count

Bea: 5
Olivia: 1

Josh changed:
Olivia: 0; Bea: 4

Jenna changed:
Olivia: 1; Bea: 1

Snicker, snicker...while Josh still hasn't changed an Olivia diaper, he did end up having more to do than me. In this game, less is more, people.

I do feel sorry for her

Ok, this blog isn't really supposed to be about other people, but I have to say my peace about the Brit. Yes, I do feel sorry for her. If I was her, I would take my entire life back to where I grew up and sequester myself until the big comeback. The way I see it, if I were to have my life photographed every time I went into public, I would probably be labeled a bad mother, too.

I would not, however, do some of the things she has done. Though, I bet almost every mom has tripped in public with their child. I know I have...a few times. Otherwise, we do other things in public that are just shocking to some people:

1) We take our kids to Starbies with us in the mornings in their PJs. Oh, that is just SO wrong.

2) We give Bea cherries at the farmer's market on Sunday, so that she is dripping stickiness and red from head to toe. You should see the look on some of the other parent's faces. Oh the horror!! Did I mention that this was at Santana Row? I guess that is to be expected.

3) We let Bea watch cartoons. Sometimes we just need a break, hons.

4) We let O go out in just her diaper when it is super hot out. Wouldn't you go around in your undies (of course, if you didn't care) on a hot day and not care what other people thought of you?

5) We let Bea climb on things. Yeah, it could be dangerous, but we are there to protect her and would rather not hear her scream at the top of her lungs sometimes.

I know there's more, and I guess they aren't that bad...at least, not to us.

I'm drinking a Fat Tire for the Brit as I write this...hang in there.

Ah, Some Normalcy

Should I bow down now?

Last night things got relatively back to normal. If it wasn't for the 100 degree weather, I probably would have slept a full 7 hours straight.

The only peep we heard from the girls room was at 5 am this morning when Olivia decided she was up for the day, and then Bea hearing her and saying "Oh-la-la" and going right back down to sleep. Unfortunately, Olivia didn't follow in her sister's footsteps and was ready to get up, but I also think it has to do with her getting her 4-month shots yesterday, too.


So, I am expecting a replay this evening which means that mommy will indulge in a little celebration of pear cider. If it doesn't replay, I will be hating life. It's happened before, so I am pretty accustomed to it by now. It's definitely not something I like, but somehow I manage...

I manage by replaying the whole thing again the next night! So, given that, I have often thought about buying this shirt for one of my girls.



I'm not sure that I would be looked at as the greatest mother in the world if one of them wore that out in public.

Seriously, though, it is only true about half the time.

;-)

Four months goes by way too fast

My little Olivia,

How can it be possible that you are already 1/3 of a year old? In just eight months, we will be celebrating your first birthday. I can hardly believe how fast the time has gone by.

You've just recently started to come out of your shell, and what you want most from anyone at this point is to be talked to. It doesn't matter at all what we say, just as long as we say something directly to you. You want to have a conversation. And you easily talk back in your own little voice that includes squeals and laughs. Sometimes you sigh, as if you are in agreement with me. I've found myself really wanting to entertain you and tell you all sorts of things, and you just seem to take it all in. I think what you like most is the "Olivia Rap" that I've made up (well, I know your sister likes it a lot, at least). Your father tries to do the rap, but he just can't get the rhythmn down that I established for it.

At this point in your life, you have started sleeping through the night pretty consistently. You actually did it at about nine weeks, but we had a minor blip a few weeks back where you wanted to wake up at 3:30 for three nights and play and play and play. Your father got you the first night and kept you up for a couple of hours because he was enjoying your company and your smiles. He wanted some alone time with his little O. The next night when I got you I ruined your plan of fun. It was patting and darkness for you, as I was trying to get you to remember that it was sleepy time for at least a few more hours. The third night you didn't stay awake but 10 minutes. And now you are back to your old self again, and you cease to amaze us by sleeping through your sister's night time screams as she lays in the crib right next to yours.




Your father often asks me if I think you are going to be anything like your sister. You are definitely a quiet and content baby, but your recent verbal phase does have us wondering. Whatever your personality, we will enjoy every moment of it.

Finally, I only have one favor to ask of you. Can you please attempt to make a #2 for someone else besides me? It seems that everytime you fall into my arms, I receive a little present. Your father cannot remember the last time he had to change your diaper now, and well, it's time to remind him, ok?

I love you,
Mommy

Though he can be very hard to understand...

He often makes my life just a little bit easier.

Thanks, Elmo.

If I Scream, They Will Come

Sleep? Clearly, you must be joking.

We are not too sure what is going on, but it's possible that little miss Bea has:

1) Some horrible nightmares
2) Bad anxiety in not being with us
3) Mastered the skill in making us completely miserable
4) All of the above?

When you are awoken from the deepest sleep to hear your child screaming bloody murder (several times a night, might I add), you definitely want to console them. After a week of this, you want to throw a pillow over your head. Granted, the girl was sick for a while, so it was fine during that time. Ever since Sunday (Father's Day) when we put her down for the night, she decided that she just didn't want to go to sleep yet. And, being that it was Father's Day, Josh was like "I just want to cuddle with her and console her." Yes, my friends, he must have gotten her 5 times that night. I'm starting to wondering if that was the beginning of the end for us. She now knows that if she screams, we will come. I told Josh that if he wants to get her, fine, but I am just not budging anymore. Believe it or not, Josh has actually slept through the screaming a few times, where she will cry for about 10 minutes and fall asleep on her own.

I'm not too sure what our plan is moving forward, but all I can say is that I am SO thankful that Olivia doesn't wake up through it all and is sleeping well. I'm probably jinxing myself with saying it.

Another thing is that I wonder if the girl is getting her molars and is just in pain. I'm not sure.

I will bow down to the heavens when I once again receive at least six hours of solid sleep. Otherwise, Josh mentioned to me in an email this morning that we should tape her screams and send them to the Hollywood studios to make some money off of her. Not too bad of an idea, honey! That could actually pay for a nighttime nanny so we could get some rest!

Night night little one and sleep well...(yeah, right!)

Pick Your Battles

As you can see in the photo above, Bea has mastered finding the nose. It could be my nose, Josh's nose, one of the cat's noses, her Dora doll nose, etc. She's also learning about ears, eyes and the mouth. And let's just say she is not always gentle about it, but what are you going to do? I'm happy to say in the photo above that she was sweet as pie. I've come to let her take action on certain things because it is just easier on both of us.

Enter Josh...

Last night at dinner, we had a little fiasco. Turns out Bea was done eating and all the signs were there. Josh continues to put food on her plate because it appears that she is eating. Here lies a huge portion of salmon. I don't say anything. Next thing you know that salmon is half in her mouth and half strung across her face. The action she took next makes me burst into laughter every time I think about it. She sticks her head towards the ceiling and puckers her lips (yes, salmon is still there on her face) staring at Josh. You truly had to be there, unfortunately, because it was so funny that I started to smile. I know Josh wanted to laugh as well, but he didn't want her playing with the food. "Jenna do NOT smile or laugh, please." So I looked down and then turned to Olivia who was on the floor in her bouncy seat next me and started saying her name so I could smile and laugh. Meanwhile, Josh is telling Bea not to play with food, asks is she is done ("no" with shaking head), while trying to keep a serious face. So, everytime I look at Bea from this point on I want to laugh my head off. I just couldn't take it anymore so I started clearing the table.

Honestly, I don't think a 17 month old cares too much that she shouldn't be playing with her food. And sometimes neither of us care. We just don't have consistency. Oh well. Even thinking about it last night when going to bed I started laughing. It's something I will never forget.

I'm beginning to accept that:

I won't be getting any real quality sleep for a very, very long time.

The world doesn't even come close to revolving around me anymore.

Josh and I probably won't have a vacation alone together for at least a few years.

A routine sucks, and sometimes you have to be creative and mix it up.

The three P's - puke, poop and pee - are something that I will be cleaning up for a long time to come.

There will always be dirty dishes and laundry.

But, most importantly, I'm beginning to accept that:

I like things this way (well, most of the time).

I would not have it any other way.

Strangest Week Ever

I don't even know where to begin. It all started on Monday and just went into this huge downward spiral. Bea was just perfectly fine when I picked her up from daycare...just one hour later she was projectile puking everywhere. I think I even upset her more when I yelled to Josh, "Please come in here...I need your help please!" He was actually making us a nice dinner on the barby, which, by the time we sat down to eat it, it was ice cold. (It's really the thought that counted!) Josh thought Bea was choking on something so he started yelling at me "what's in her mouth, what did you give her?" so I am yelling back "nothing! I haven't given her anything!" Then after cleaning it all up, the conversation went something like this:

Jo: Can you believe the amount that came up?
Je: Nope.
Jo: Did she somehow get a hold of the feta cheese in the fridge?
Je: What are you talking about? I told you I didn't give her anything.
Jo: You didn't give her anything?
Je: No.
Jo: It looked like there were chunks of feta cheese and sort of smelled like it, too.
Je: I agree, but no, she didn't get a hold of any cheese.
Jo: That's weird.
Je: Yes, it is. And rather disgusting considering that the milk was...(I won't finish this as I feel like vomiting just writing it down)

Anyway, we just thought it was one of those random throw up moments in our child's life. So, fools that we are, decided to forge ahead and give her some more milk that evening and little did we know, we unleashed the worlds largest vomiting session ever. Yes, dears, I will not share too many details but will tell you that house stunk for over one day until I finally decided to clear out the fancy rug. All I can say is thank god for hardwood floors and leather sofas. Not sure what we would do if we had cloth couches and carpet.

This was Monday.

On Tuesday morning, after giving the kid pedialyte for over 12 hours, she seemed totally fine. I gave her some milk. Bad decision, mommy. She still seemed fine so I was off to go to work and drop the little one off at daycare. I knock on the door. Knock again. Look at Bea and she does not look good. The vomit was once again being unleashed, and all over me. Yes, in my hair, all over my jacket, on my legs and feet, and on my sandals. And at that moment, I said "looks like you'll be staying home today." So, thankfully, no one at daycare saw it happen when it did. As we are pulling away, I call Josh on his cell and tell him to call them to let them know that 1) She will not be coming in and 2) That I feel terrible about the "present" outside their front door. Oh gosh did I feel terrible!!!!

When we got home, it was indeed bath time. What could really go wrong with this? She loves the water and loves her baths. Let's just say that I left her in there about one minute too long. Yeah, she pooped, and there was no way I could stop her. No, it wasn't fun cleaning it up. Yeah, I almost puked myself when I cleaned it up.

Cut to the afternoon when I take her to the doctor. All goes well there and I just want to get us home. What happens next? Mommy rear ends super nice lady. Fortunately, the lady was super kind, and gave me a hug. There was no damage, but I gave her all of my information anyway. Bea slept the whole time, so hopefully she doesn't even know it happened. At this point in the day, I just wanted it to be the next day.

Wednesday.

She goes to daycare and seems fine to me, but we are not to give her any milk. About 12ish I get a call from her daycare saying she had been crying for 3 hours and yelling for her "buh buh." I say, "Give her milk." After all, it has been over 24 hours since she had some, so it should be ok. Well, I guess she drank the whole thing, and fell asleep. 45 minutes later she was screaming in the midst of that whole bottle coming back up. I go pick her up from daycare.

Today.

Josh is at home with the little lovey, who only slept about 4 - 5 hours last night because she was so restless. I am glad to be off parenting duty for a day, but I do miss her. In spite of all of the "incidents" I feel like we had some major bonding time. When I left this morning she was crying...Even if I am completely wrong, I like to think that she really just wants her mommy.

Dear Olivia...

At just 3 1/2 months old, I think you are the most beautful little thing. Your world is full of sleep, poop, smiling, and laughing. It's never a dull moment when you are awake, as you are so happy all the time. All you want to do is coo and smile and have someone talk back to you. I really don't want you to get any bigger, because I love this stage with you. And there isn't anything more than I love doing with you than snuggling and hearing you breath so peacefully.

Cute vs. Not So Cute

Oh, look at Bea and how cute she looks with her "Pebbles" hair-do!

Look at how cute she is when she tries to brush her own hair.

Isn't she cute when she runs to the bathroom when she hears the tub filling up with water, ready for her bath?

Look at her do circles round and round. So cute.

Tickle her tummy and hear her cute little cackle.

Oh, isn't she just the cutest thing?

Oh look, her hands are brown, she must have been playing in the dirt for a minute. Oh wait, what is that smell? Someone has picked up cat poop in the yard and squished it all over the place. Not so cute.

Bea and Mommie's Morning at Starbucks

So right now Josh takes Olive to one daycare and I take Bea to the other, so Bea and I get some quality alone time in the morning. This pretty much consists of me getting her up out of her crib, giving her the beloved ba-ba, getting her dressed while “Elmo’s World” from Sesame Street plays in the background and then a quick jaunt to the corner Starbucks so that mom can get her caffeine fix going.

Today was quite an extraordinary day at the local Starbucks. I ordered my normal Grande nonfat with whip mocha and then as we waited, I let the little one roam around freely. I had no idea how much of a scene that would cause today. It appeared that everyone at Starbucks wanted to talk with my daughter, and I just had to stand back and take it all in. First, it was “oh, she is so cute” and then “how old is she?” and then “they’re cute when they are that small and then they grow up”…I had to laugh. Then this nice gentleman, dressed in his military fatigues, started having a conversation with her. It was the cutest thing I have seen in a long time. She wanted his attention but yet she was also timid. Then the nice man was telling me that he had granddaughters and how much he loves to spoil them, and he couldn’t resist in spoiling my daughter (only just a little bit more than she is already). He asked me if he could buy her something to drink and I told him if he wanted to do that, that was fine, but not necessary. Said he just had to get her something because she was adorable and he was not going to let me say no. Meanwhile, both the drinks that we had ordered were waiting for us, and he gets into the super long line just to buy Bea an OJ. After he paid for it, he handed it to her and she took it with so much delight…she was actually hugging that OJ (and gnawing on the plastic cap). I thanked him about 100 times and told him how nice he was and he said it was his pleasure. What a nice man to do something just because….

So, on my way to drop Bea off at daycare this morning, I was debating what to do with the OJ because I wasn’t going to be able to give it to her since I was headed to work. Instead, I gave it to her daycare provider and told her what happened. I asked that if she was going to give Bea any juice today, to give her the OJ…I wanted her to enjoy her gift, and I hope that she does.

You're Beautiful

I often wonder if I have any more love to give, but it turns out that I have discovered that I love each of my girls more and more each day. I think they are the most beautiful creatures on the earth, and I love them so very much.

Here's Bea, almost 17 months, and Olivia, three months. This picture is almost a month old, though.

Why didn't I do this before?

Time flies by way too fast. I have thought about doing this for nearly a year because I am afraid that I am going to miss so many amazing memories. And, as it turns out, I probably have forgotten a lot of them already.

My life has changed a lot over the last couple of years. Bought a house, had a kid, had another kid...it just continues to get busier and busier.

My family is my world, and starting now, I am going to be writing to them and about them, as well as what I've learned from them.

Enjoy, and comment if you like.